Everything Missed Out Is Everything Else
Imagine you’re standing at a crossroads. To the left, there’s a path marked “Desires.” It’s lined with everything you think you want perhaps a dream job, perfect relationship, big city life, or even just that vacation you keep putting off. To the right, there’s a path marked “Unchosen.” It’s foggy and quiet, and unlike the other path, you can’t quite make out what’s down this road.
The thing is, we’re often so focused on what we want, on what seems to be the answer, that we rarely glance down that other road. But what if, in chasing after one desire, we miss out on a world of something else? What if, in obsessing over what we’re trying to get, we overlook what’s already right next to us?
Pausing for a Moment
When was the last time you paused and looked around at the small things that fill your life every day? Maybe you’re craving a big opportunity at work, hoping for that next promotion, but what if the co-worker who brings you coffee every morning is already adding value to your day? Or perhaps you’re looking forward to moving to a bigger city, but have you appreciated the quiet peace of your local park, where there’s no noise, just a gentle breeze and birds singing?
These moments might seem trivial, but they’re part of everything else we often miss. The coffee, the park, the casual hello from a stranger they’re the quiet fillers that make up our days, and we rarely give them any credit. We’re taught to focus on what’s next, the grand and desirable goals, but life doesn’t happen only in those big moments. It’s in the overlooked, too.
Think About the “Almosts”
Consider something you wanted badly but didn’t get, something that felt like it slipped away. A job, a relationship, a chance to travel, a moment to say something you held back. At the time, it probably felt like a lost opportunity. But was it really?
Look at where you are now and think of the path you took in its place. Did it bring you experiences you wouldn’t trade for anything? Did you make friends or discover things about yourself that you didn’t expect? Sometimes, the life that happens while we’re busy pursuing our desires gives us the exact balance we need. In every “almost,” there was a door left open, waiting for you to notice it.
How Much Is Enough?
Take a moment to think about your wants. Is it more time? More success? More excitement? When you picture having “enough” of it, what does that look like? How do you know when you’ve reached it?
It’s a tough question because “enough” is a moving target. It often feels like a mirage, always one step out of reach. Yet, when we’re too focused on our idea of “enough,” it’s easy to ignore the “plenty” we already have. Maybe we want more happiness, yet fail to notice how much happiness we already have in the laughter of friends, in the feeling of a cozy evening, or in those rare moments of total peace.
It’s as if, by defining what we don’t have, we build a mental wall, blocking out everything we already do.
Rediscovering What’s Already There
So, here’s a little challenge for you. Try listing out the small joys in your life right now. These aren’t necessarily the things that fit into your grand plans; they’re the in-between moments, the things you might ignore.
Perhaps it’s a good book you recently read, the way sunlight filters through your curtains, or a simple meal that left you feeling content. These are pieces of everything else, the quiet treasures in our lives. They’re not loud or insistent, but they’re there if we care to look.
Ask yourself, what’s one “insignificant” thing you overlook daily that you’re genuinely grateful for? A lot of what we’re truly missing out on are these small moments.
What’s Around the Corner?
This doesn’t mean giving up on big dreams or letting go of ambition. Rather, it’s a reminder to keep a balance, to glance occasionally down that foggy path of the “Unchosen.” The life you could be living, the version of you that didn’t make it to the corner office or the city loft, may hold just as much happiness in a different form.
When we loosen our grip on what we’re trying to have, we often open ourselves to life’s unexpected gifts. Maybe you’ve spent years looking for purpose or love in one place, only to realize it was waiting for you in a completely different form, in the people and moments already close by.
So, the next time you find yourself longing for something more, or chasing after a new dream, remember that everything missed out is everything else. You’re already in the middle of a life, brimming with moments that only you get to live. Embrace both the desires and the overlooked. There’s beauty in everything, after all.